right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
