now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
