Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
