think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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