I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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