Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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