Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
