the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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