i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
