With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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