Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize