I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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