i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
