Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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