we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
