and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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