Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
