what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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