get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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