God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
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