My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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