Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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