I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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