I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
