if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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