My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
