the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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