Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
