your parents love me but you hate me
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
