i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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