so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
