two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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