I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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