break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
