that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
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i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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