we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
