And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
