Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
