Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
