She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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