I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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