the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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