goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
