Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
