I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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