i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
