Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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