remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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