other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
