Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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