let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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