Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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