either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
