We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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