i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize