lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
