and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
