I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
