I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
