you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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