he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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