he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
